Reflection

Christina Aguilera sang “Who is that girl i see, staring straight back at me. When will my reflection show who i am inside?”

There are so many stages and moments in life. A time to cry and a time to laugh. Every one goes through different hurdles in their life. The question is, how they do it? 

I really am a master of disguise.. I can put a fresh mask everyday. It’s slowly becoming my face. I learned how to laugh and smile in the midst of troubles, sadness or grief. I can always suppress them, hide them and not let anyone find them. I guess there’s no point in letting others fee what you’re feeling especially when they don’t know what you are going through or feeling at that moment. Then it will just be a whole wave of sympathy. But i guess its because of this, that no one knows what im feeling. 

I am who i am. But over the years, i’ve learn to handle some stuff more maturely. But if you’re surrounded by people who are laid back, then you’re being the grim. My job made me think in a different manner, to handle things differently at times. I try my best to please everybody. Sometimes when i try too hard, then i just become annoying. I don’t wanna complain, but why is it that im taken seriously at my job but elsewhere, i become a joke and a nonsense to other people? 

I don’t wanna live a life of figuring out “whats next?”. That’s why i’ve planning ahead so that i have something to look forward to. Now that i have my diving license, most of my trips includes diving. No need to please anyone, no need to abide by anyone’s rule. I go by myself, and experience the world with my own eye. It’s not loneliness but solitude. If someone pays me to travel around the world, i’d be more than happy to take it. 

I guess now, instead of putting me in a black coffin, dress me up in a lacey black dress and throw me into the sea. Goodnight 🙂